Tuesday, April 30, 2013

For yesterday and today

Things have been a bit insane so I haven't been able to post as frequently as I'd like. But here are two haikus for yesterday and today. 

Winds blowing, changing
Driving forces transcend me
Hoping to relate.

Thoughts going around
Filling my head and my soul
Driving me insane.

Sunday, April 28, 2013

For the past two days

The short Haikus were the only things I could create as my show closed. 

Lights rise in the room.
Anxiety spreads through us
Hoping it will end.

A running last thought
Fills my brain leaving in shards
To painful to think.

Friday, April 26, 2013

Change

So yesterday's poem and the one the day before, was written in the heat of the moment. The big realization turned out to be a big mistake, rather a misunderstanding. Seems this person always shows up when I least expect it at a moment when I need to hear from him the most. 

A turn, a spin
A switch, a change
Emotions unravelled
A changing game.

When I'm on stage
What do you see?
A moment of joy?
Are you proud of me?

No matter what
I do or see
I will always care
About how you look at me.

Will that change?
I don't see how
I love you a lot
Forever and now.

Thursday, April 25, 2013

I Should Forget

Thinking of this man makes me reflect on all that I am. And on the pain of rejection that was caused by me thinking too much of him. Here's "I Should Forget."

A sad sort of quiet
Seeps in over me
A realization, a thought
Defining who I will be.

To trust, to love
It takes some time
To have it smashed
Without reason or rhyme.

To hold you up high
To get close to you
A mistake so stupid
And narrow in view.

Your acceptance I long for
But never seem to get
I suppose of this
I should no longer fret.

In you I saw
All I wanted to be,
So proud, so successful
I guess I couldn't see

Past my own blindness
After all, you're only a man
Not a demigod or prince
That would've suited my plan.

I knew I didn't matter
To you much at all,
But praise words from you
Made me feel ten feet tall.

I held each one dear
Close to my heart
To close my open wounds
I thought I'd never start.

I should forget you
Move on through the pain.
Still I think of you fondly
When I hear your name.

Forgetting you
Is the hardest part
After all of the footprints
You've left on my heart.

Wednesday, April 24, 2013

A surprise

So this poem comes from one of my dear friends and one of my heroes considering coming to a show I'm doing this weekend. I don't know if she'll come or not, but just the fact she is considering it means a ton to me .

Just one night
A balancing act
A tremulant emotion
I'll try not to crack .

I can't believe
After so long
Acknowledgment of my work
She'll see it, right or wrong.  

She's coming to see
The work that I do
A judgement, a snapshot
And a smile too.

I shouldn't be nervous
I really shouldn't fear
I'm sure at worst I'll get
"well done my dear."

But memories still haunt
Of times not long ago
When a tone in her voice
Said things weren't a go.

The fear still exists
The terror all to real
From curtain to curtain
I'm sure I won't feel

Any joy from praise
That comes my way
A light in her eyes
Will be all that's needed to say.

Her expressions I know
Only too well
The wrong one that night
Will send me to hell.

As scared as I am
I'm stoked as well
Just to have her there
Even in my private hell.

A laugh, a smile
That's really all I'll need
To make me relax
And the fear to recede.

Tuesday, April 23, 2013

For the past two days

So my schedule is hectic, but I am still writing. I will have much more time to write once my play is over. That being said, here are the two poems I wrote in the past two days. The first is a Haiku about my show, the second is a realization that hit me earlier today. 

Bang Bang You're Dead

Rehearsing nightly
Opening looms very near
Excitement unfolds.

A revelation happened to me today when I checked my email box and didn't see the email I was expecting. And haven't seen it for the past several days. So I think in my own little way, I have to make peace with something. 

An idol destroyed
A vision shattered
My life a void
Nothing does matter.

A hole in my heart
So deep within me
The pain, the part
You never will see.

A cleaner break
A thought of me
A word for my sake
You're a huge part of me.

I have worked hard
To make you proud
Your rejection a shard
Your silent message loud.

I'll hide away
A shadowy hall
Thinking of a way
To stop this hard fall.

I'll say goodbye
Nothing's left to say
I'll try not to cry
In this parting of way.

Sunday, April 21, 2013

Three new poems!

I've been crazy with rehearsal so I haven't really had a chance to post but here are the three poems I have written. 

Hair
Long and flowing locks
New cuts always feel so good.
Loving it lots.

Flowers
A beautiful scent
Vibrant colors to set sights
Cheering up daily.

Spring
Love is in the air
Flowers are blooming freshly
Scintillating thoughts. 

Thursday, April 18, 2013

Education

So I'm on my prep (I'm a teacher) and was just reflecting on a frustrating class. This poem came to me: 

Lost in the dark
Yearning for life
Dark dreary day,
Long endless night.

A struggle intense
A mountain to climb
Confusion immense
A see of unrhyme.

Still I endure
Not accepting defeat
Fight for your
Learning complete.  

The hours I spend
Toiling hard
The facts that I rend
Confusion a shard.

I pierces my soul
Explodes my brain
Reaching my goal
Is immense pain.

Someday you'll get
All that I say
And I won't fret
At the end of the day.

Tuesday, April 16, 2013

Muses

I was wondering about inspiration and what drives it. Here's a short Haiku about it. 

Muses flock around
Their creativity's near
Wanting to succeed.

For Yesterday

I fell asleep way early yesterday, so here's my poem which is about the theatrical rehearsal process: 

 Bustling on the stage
Frantically going off book
Hoping for the best.

Sunday, April 14, 2013

TV

Watching Food Network made me think of this. 

Food makes me hungry
Food Network shows all kinds.
Loves watching all shows.


Saturday, April 13, 2013

Friendship

After spending an enjoyable evening with my best friend, this poem came to me. 

Joyous times are few
Friendships blossoming tonight
Love makes hearts so full.

Friday, April 12, 2013

Confusion

A lot has happened over the last couple of days and I have thoughts running through my head, trying to sort things out. I've also been in a Haiku mood (I think because my students are writing them). 

So many feelings
So many thoughts unspoken.
Hoping they'll resolve.

For yesterday

So I had a very late rehearsal yesterday which prevented me from posting my poem. Here it is: 

A Journey
Fast confusing thoughts
Running through my head always
Where will I end up?

Wednesday, April 10, 2013

Disappointment

This little haiku was written after a crushing disappointment at work. 

Disappointment rips
Ripping my soul into shards
Neverending pain.

Tuesday, April 9, 2013

Tolling Bells


I found an old design journal of mine and I reread it. This is the poem that came from it. 

Tolling Bells
Tension mounts slowly.
The disappointment in
Your eyes pierces
Me worse then
Any knife blade.

I know what
You want from
Me but I’m
Unable to deliver.
It’s draining me.

I can take
Anger, I can
Take yelling, but
It’s your silence
That cuts me
To the core.

Stoic and Sphinx-like
You stare at
Me, gaze unwavering.
Your mouth is
A hard line.

Gone is the
Warmth and laughs
You’ve shown me.
Instead, it is
Now cold indifference
That I face.

The bells that
Toll In Memoriam
Of our beloved
Department Chair have
Changed the very
Air between us.

Gone is the
Mutual joking, smiles
And general friendliness.
Instead, it’s replaced
By great tension.

Your beautiful choreography
Is marred by
My horrid sound.
Although I push
Myself, I know

You’ll never be
Satisfied with my
Work. Even still,
Because I look
Up to you,
I will continue
To work and
Try to match
Your vision perfectly.
It’s all that
I can do.  

Monday, April 8, 2013

Secrets

Like all of my poems, this one has a great deal of meaning. This was written out of anger when someone I thought I could trust betrayed it. Always a great feeling. But, on the plus side, I did get a pretty good poem out of it, so it's not all bad. 

A secret revealed
Confidence broken
Trust unmoored
Words left unspoken.

Let go of the anger
Or hide the pain.
When the pain stops,
Do scars remain?

Sunday, April 7, 2013

Flung World


This poem came as a result for me reflecting on a dance piece I sound designed years ago. It was my fist foray into design work and I had a helluva time with it. These are the reflections some years later. 

flung-world
Drums beating,
Rhythm pounding
Chaos ensues.

Bodies flailing
Hissing echoes,
Droning incessantly.

Sweat flying,
Minds and
Bodies exhausted.

Pounding drums,
Uneven rhythms,
Scalding anger.

Doing nothing,
Can’t fix
My errors.

A slave
To these
Rampant emotions.

Eyes burning,
Ears pounding,
Mind throbbing.

Radiating disappointment,
Dark eyes
Stare straight

Through me.
Chilling, sickening.
I’m hopeless.

Boyfriend can’t
Be seen.
No time.

He listens
As I
Rant constantly.

He smiles,
Says I’m
Doing great.

He doesn’t
Know her.
The anger

Utterly paralyzing
Utterly terrifying.
Music’s dead.

Finally, a
Break through.
Music’s right.

I sigh,
Lean back
And smile.

My boy
Is right.
I’m okay.

Cheryl’s right
Too. It’s
Truly a

flung-world. 

Saturday, April 6, 2013

Future

Sometimes when I sit alone in quiet, my brain starts thinking of my future plans and I wonder whether or not I will be successful in them. This is a poem about my success or failure. 

Sometimes I sit here
As the day goes by
And often I wonder
Will I succeed before I die?

So many plans
Go 'round in my head
Will they be accomplished
Before I am dead?

Success and failure
A path I live
Torn between the two
To which do I give?

When I look ahead
What do I see?
Success or failure
Which will it be?

Will all work out
Or will it crash and burn?
The better outcome
Is what I yearn.

No one can say
Which it will be
Whatever outcome
Is chosen for me. 

Friday, April 5, 2013

Soul Saving

On a road trip to South Jersey, this little Haiku popped into my head. I was doing a lot of thinking about life and its meaning. As I was a passenger in the car, I found something extremely liberating in the feeling of the wind in my face. Here is the result. 

Rushing wind blows free
Cleansing my soul, freeing me
Exhilaration. 

Thursday, April 4, 2013

The Road Not Taken

This was inspired by me contemplating my life. A short blank verse that came to mind. 

Quickly passing by
Scenery whizzes past
The road often travelled
Full of holes is sometimes
The best and most adventurous
Path.

You can never under estimate
The path most travelled.
Sometimes the most
Familiar of things holds
The deepest of treasures.

Wednesday, April 3, 2013

The Road Most Taken

This small poem jumped into my head while rollerblading this afternoon. It's called the Road Most Taken because I've realized I don't need new adventures, sometimes the familiar can be its own adventure. 

Quickly passing by,
Scenery whizzing past,
The road often travelled
Full of holes is sometimes
The best and most adventurous
Path.

You can never underestimate
The path most travelled.
Sometimes the most
Familiar of things holds
The deepest of treasures.

Tuesday, April 2, 2013

Darkness Turns Into Light

So I'm officially doing the 30 poems in 30 days for the month of April. This is my second poem in the challenge. It was inspired by a dear friend of mine saving my lesson for next week by responding to one of my letters. I now have something to model for my students. Sometimes it is the smallest acts that mean the most. 

A long lonely night,
Dark and grim,
Made a bit brighter,
The light a little less dim.

What makes the change
From darkness to light?
From despair to hope
That sparks you to fight?

A friendly face?
The kindest of acts?
The warmth of a hug?
A small loving fact?

Maybe it's all,
Or maybe it's none,
But in your despair
Something reminds you of fun.

Mostly for me,
It's seeing a face
So filled with love
It shines with God's grace.

The hug of a friend,
A gentle hello,
Is the light through the dark
Where alone, you daren't go. 

Monday, April 1, 2013

Why? A poem examining life

A dear friend of mine recently let me know she is seriously ill and I have been contemplating life and how insane it is. I honestly don't know how to deal with the stress of this situation because there is absolutely nothing I can do about it or for her. That being said, I have write this poem entitled "Why?" as a way to explore my stress.

Why? 
Why is there death?
Why not eternal life?
Why so much pain
And far too much strife?

How to we know
The life we live,
Balance the take
With how much we give?

How come our world
Can end on a sigh,
When just one hello
Can end with goodbye?

And how do we know
The life of our soul
Balance good and evil
And achieve our goal?

How can we control
Who touches our life
Who helps us to be
And who helps us to fight?

How do we stop
Our feelings so deep
What ones to let go,
And which ones to keep?

How do we managed
To take pain away
Rid it from love
For more then a day?

And how to we keep
Away the fear,
Of the suffering of someone
We hold most dear?

And why does our
Anguish turn to pain
When crisis hits us
And fear we can't tame?

Why is life
Filled with ups and downs,
Emotions and terrors
Smiles and frowns?

And how to I managed
To always keep hold
Through this thing called life
As events unfold?