I Should Forget

Thinking of this man makes me reflect on all that I am. And on the pain of rejection that was caused by me thinking too much of him. Here's "I Should Forget."

A sad sort of quiet
Seeps in over me
A realization, a thought
Defining who I will be.

To trust, to love
It takes some time
To have it smashed
Without reason or rhyme.

To hold you up high
To get close to you
A mistake so stupid
And narrow in view.

Your acceptance I long for
But never seem to get
I suppose of this
I should no longer fret.

In you I saw
All I wanted to be,
So proud, so successful
I guess I couldn't see

Past my own blindness
After all, you're only a man
Not a demigod or prince
That would've suited my plan.

I knew I didn't matter
To you much at all,
But praise words from you
Made me feel ten feet tall.

I held each one dear
Close to my heart
To close my open wounds
I thought I'd never start.

I should forget you
Move on through the pain.
Still I think of you fondly
When I hear your name.

Forgetting you
Is the hardest part
After all of the footprints
You've left on my heart.

A surprise

So this poem comes from one of my dear friends and one of my heroes considering coming to a show I'm doing this weekend. I don't know if she'll come or not, but just the fact she is considering it means a ton to me .

Just one night
A balancing act
A tremulant emotion
I'll try not to crack .

I can't believe
After so long
Acknowledgment of my work
She'll see it, right or wrong.  

She's coming to see
The work that I do
A judgement, a snapshot
And a smile too.

I shouldn't be nervous
I really shouldn't fear
I'm sure at worst I'll get
"well done my dear."

But memories still haunt
Of times not long ago
When a tone in her voice
Said things weren't a go.

The fear still exists
The terror all to real
From curtain to curtain
I'm sure I won't feel

Any joy from praise
That comes my way
A light in her eyes
Will be all that's needed to say.

Her expressions I know
Only too well
The wrong one that night
Will send me to hell.

As scared as I am
I'm stoked as well
Just to have her there
Even in my private hell.

A laugh, a smile
That's really all I'll need
To make me relax
And the fear to recede.

For the past two days

So my schedule is hectic, but I am still writing. I will have much more time to write once my play is over. That being said, here are the two poems I wrote in the past two days. The first is a Haiku about my show, the second is a realization that hit me earlier today. 

Bang Bang You're Dead

Rehearsing nightly
Opening looms very near
Excitement unfolds.

A revelation happened to me today when I checked my email box and didn't see the email I was expecting. And haven't seen it for the past several days. So I think in my own little way, I have to make peace with something. 

An idol destroyed
A vision shattered
My life a void
Nothing does matter.

A hole in my heart
So deep within me
The pain, the part
You never will see.

A cleaner break
A thought of me
A word for my sake
You're a huge part of me.

I have worked hard
To make you proud
Your rejection a shard
Your silent message loud.

I'll hide away
A shadowy hall
Thinking of a way
To stop this hard fall.

I'll say goodbye
Nothing's left to say
I'll try not to cry
In this parting of way.

Three new poems!

I've been crazy with rehearsal so I haven't really had a chance to post but here are the three poems I have written. 

Hair
Long and flowing locks
New cuts always feel so good.
Loving it lots.

Flowers
A beautiful scent
Vibrant colors to set sights
Cheering up daily.

Spring
Love is in the air
Flowers are blooming freshly
Scintillating thoughts. 

Education

So I'm on my prep (I'm a teacher) and was just reflecting on a frustrating class. This poem came to me: 

Lost in the dark
Yearning for life
Dark dreary day,
Long endless night.

A struggle intense
A mountain to climb
Confusion immense
A see of unrhyme.

Still I endure
Not accepting defeat
Fight for your
Learning complete.  

The hours I spend
Toiling hard
The facts that I rend
Confusion a shard.

I pierces my soul
Explodes my brain
Reaching my goal
Is immense pain.

Someday you'll get
All that I say
And I won't fret
At the end of the day.

Muses

I was wondering about inspiration and what drives it. Here's a short Haiku about it. 

Muses flock around
Their creativity's near
Wanting to succeed.

For Yesterday

I fell asleep way early yesterday, so here's my poem which is about the theatrical rehearsal process: 

 Bustling on the stage
Frantically going off book
Hoping for the best.